


Red (like fresh blood)

by bangotagun



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Arranged Marriage, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Past Child Abuse
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-02
Updated: 2021-02-24
Packaged: 2021-03-13 14:09:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,747
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29154843
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bangotagun/pseuds/bangotagun
Summary: "There were three things he noticed right away. First, Hisoka was taller than him, he was in heels but he would be still definitely taller without them, just a little bit. Second, Hisoka was smiling the most genuinely grin he ever saw towards him. Third and most importantly,  Hisoka had red hair.Red like fresh blood."
Relationships: Hisoka/Illumi Zoldyck
Comments: 9
Kudos: 75





	1. Introductions

**Author's Note:**

> hello! so this is my first attempt to write a chaptered fic in a while, i hope you like! also mind english is not my first language so there may be some errors.

When Silva announced that they had found a fiance for him, Illumi didn't even flinch.

At a young age, Illumi has discovered he was broken. He heard small comments about how he didn't respond right to anything going around the house. He was a quiet kid, it was like there was no baby in the house, Illumi never cried, he never raised his voice, he rarely talked but when he did, lie wasn't an option. The only thing that could trigger a real reaction in him was loud noises or unexpected touches, for those he would have visceral acts in response and the only thing that could calm him down was the bright red of blood, he would look at it for hours until he felt he was able to breathe again.

It didn't bother him, not until his parents started to have more children to compensate for his dysfunction. He knew Silva needed a good heir, one that wasn't him or Milluki.

When Killua was born, Illumi was well advanced in his training, he progressed fast as his responses to torture were just as stoic as his face and his bloodlust more enhanced than anyone in the family. Zeno would always tell him that killing was not for pleasure, but Illumi couldn't help. However, he would never forget the first time he saw the white-haired baby with bright blue eyes, the crying stopping right at the moment he focused on Illumi's face, looking at his blank eyes like he knew he was hiding something. He felt peace for the first time. Was different than the one blood would give him, he felt like the weight of the world was lifted from his shoulders.

Didn't last long, tho. Kikyo wouldn't mind Illumi being around Killua, but Silva was severely against it, to the point that when the younger was old enough to eat at the table, Illumi wasn't allowed anymore. As the days passed, he has been prohibited from more and more spaces in the house, not authorized to have any direct contact with his brother even though he was responsible to supervise him.

When Alluka and Kalluto were born, Silva started to avoid him like a plague, talking to him just to assign his jobs. They were all afraid of him, he assumed. As understandable as it can be for a rational mind like his, was hurtful, anyway, to notice how his whole family tried to push him away.

But, when his engagement news arrived, he felt relieved, he would be leaving home, for someone who maybe didn't fear him. Silva explained the details of the arrangement but Illumi didn't hear a single word, his mind wandering about the possibility of not being as caged as he was.

He soon was dismissed to start his moving process, having caught just that his fiance was a rich man that lived in Yorknew before turning down his father's voice.

There was a funny feeling on his stomach when he started to pack things up, the man would be there the next night for dinner and Illumi would leave with him the following morning, he had a lot to say goodbye to but probably wouldn't have time. He wanted to complain about how rushed all of this was being, they wouldn't even wait for the actual marriage to ship him off in the hands of a stranger. Not that Illumi was afraid, he knew how to defend himself well enough, but the readiness to let him go was hunting.

While packing, Illumi realized that he didn't have much to take with him besides his clothes. Is not like his family allowed him to have hobbies, so was pretty much his clothes and needles, some books that he felt were important, most of them had a leaf inside with a date carved by Illumi's needles. He appreciated them a lot. In the back of his drawers was a picture of his family. He felt like tearing it apart, but never did, just placing it in the bottom of his suitcase.

His dinner arrived as usual but he didn't feel like eating it, sitting in his bed in silence for what felt like hours. Kikyo stopping by in a hysterical cry brought him back, Illumi didn't say a word about it, feeling like it was out of his reach comforting her. He just sat there, waiting for her to finish, when she did, she just got up, in silence, and left.

The next hours elapsed in a blur. Illumi couldn't tell how much he slept or if he slept at all. He did not remember eating, talking, anything. He came back to his senses already dressed in his best clothes, sitting in the living room, waiting for his fiance with the rest of his family. He could clearly smell lavender on his hair, which was brushed back in cascading black strands uniformly. Killua was sitting with Alluka on the floor and they were playing some weird game with their hands, while Kalluto observed, sitting on his mother's lap on the sofa, Milluki by her side playing on his phone. Silva and Zeno were discussing something in the room next door, if Illumi wished to hear what they were saying he would be able to, but he didn't felt like it, just concentrating on his siblings playing on the floor.

He felt his fiance before he saw him, a strong aura slowly taking over more and more space as he was getting close to the house. They all stood up aligning, as usual, next to the door. Illumi blanked out for a second because the aura around him was so overwhelming that he had to concentrate on not unleash his own in response.

When he finally came back to his senses the man was right in front of him offering a greeting hand. Illumi scanned him with his eyes.

"Illumi, this is your fiance, Hisoka Morow."

There were three things he noticed right away. First, Hisoka was taller than him, he was in heels but he would be still definitely taller without them, just a little bit. Second, Hisoka was smiling the most genuinely grin he ever saw towards him. Third and most importantly, Hisoka had red hair.

Red like fresh blood.

Hisoka was intimidating. Illumi never thought he would meet someone as bold as him and they have met just three seconds ago. Hisoka's aura was leaving everybody on edge, he could sense even Killua getting uncomfortable, even when they were delaying his nen training until he got mentally stronger.

When Illumi finally extended his hand to greet the other's, Hisoka took his fingers on his mouth, kissing with a smirk on his face. Kikyo let out an annoyed sound. Illumi was feeling odd.

"Your father failed to tell me how pretty you are." His voice was smooth like velvet. Illumi just tilted his head not knowing what to respond to this.

Illumi didn't have a lot of conclusions about his appearance, was not something that felt really important to him anymore. Kikyo liked to dress him up when he was a child, just like she does with Kalluto, pretty robes, and androgynous haircuts. When he started to get unnerving she stopped taking care of his looks, replacing the robes in his wardrobe with pants and sweatshirts, Illumi became so upset about it that he actually cut his hair short with kitchen scissors and opened a wound on his leg so he could see blood. Kikyo cried for three days in a row, refusing to leave her bedroom. Illumi let his hair grow out after that day.

He liked his hair all long and straight around him. He also liked cropped shirts that would make his waist look slimmer, he found them comfortable. He never felt pretty in them, tho.

Hisoka kept his eyes on him until Silva cleared his throat, asking for them to enter and sit at the dinner table. Killua was sitting in the spot that used to be his, so he just stood there waiting for instructions.

"Why are you standing, darling? Sit next to me." Hisoka said once again turning a bit to the chair on his right. Illumi complied.

Was an audacious behavior. The red-haired man was acting like he was home in an environment that could not be more threatening. He was at the top of a mountain, surrounded by the most dangerous assassins in the world and their whole security, not to mention it was unfamiliar grounds to him. Illumi could say he was impressed. He wouldn't be at such ease with Zeno's eyes burning on his head like he was doing with Hisoka.

"So, Hisoka, what you do for a living?" Kikyo asked.

"Oh, Silva didn't tell you? I am a fighter in Heaven's Arena most of the time. But usually, I am just trying to have fun."

Kikyo was holding her fork with such a strong grip that anyone on the table could tell it was hurting. Illumi was not surprised about his mother's attitude, knowing how she would never think anyone was good enough for her children. Even for Illumi who was broken.

"Are you sure you can take care of my son?"

Hisoka laughed out loud, apparently very amused, the air so thick with tension that it could be cut with a knife. Everybody was in alert mode, even Zeno, an unusual matter since his grandpa was usually a very laid back man.

"I think your son can take care of himself, ma'am. I not marrying him to become his legal guardian." He had one eyebrow pointed up as he took a sip of wine.

"Then why are you doing it?" Illumi heard the words slipping off his own lips before he could even think about it.

Hisoka opened a big smile as he turned a bit to look at the oldest Zoldyck child, yellow eyes bathed in mischief. "I thought you would be fun. Is nice to hear your voice, finally."

"I am not fun." He said plainly. Hisoka laughed again.

"You are already entertaining, darling." He winked.

"How did you found him, Silva?" Kikyo asked, range apparent in her voice.

"May I answer?" Silva nodded. "He lost to me in a card game, I heard he was looking for a suitor to marry his oldest son, so I asked for it."

"You lost my son in a GAME?" Kikyo's aura was unleashed, dripping bloodlust towards her husband and Hisoka. "Do you think it is a prank?"

"I won fairly, I asked for what I wanted."

"So I am just the big prize," Illumi said voice light, trying way too hard to not laugh out loud.

"Yes, you are. Much better than I thought, tho." He looked around eyes sharp. "If you excuse me."

When Hisoka got up, every other grown-up at the table, besides Illumi, did too, the air in the room so heavy that was hard to breathe. Hisoka chuckled once again. "You guys are so fun, but I need to go to the bathroom."

As he left the room, Kikyo was turned to Silva who had sat down once again, eating slowly. "I can't believe you!"

"I will not discuss this with you in front of the kids."

"Our son is leaving tomorrow with that psycho because you lost a game! That must be a joke." Her voice was getting higher with every word.

"That was not the intention," Silva said without even raising his eyes.

"I am not letting-" she stopped when Illumi got up.

"Doesn't matter who I am married to. You all were greed to kick me out of the house. I am fine with whatever, you do not have to pretend it matters." He smiled. "If you excuse me, I am going to my room. I had enough."

When he left the room, Hisoka was by the door,five-deck cards on his hands.

"I thought you were going to the bathroom," Illumi said.

"I did go, was just waiting for you to resume the argument."

"It is finished."

Hisoka had his eyes scanning him once again, a grin on his face. "You are very fun to look at, do you know?" Hisoka asked.

"No."

"I think you will be a very fun husband." He walked in the direction of the dining room once again, he put a hand on Illumi shoulders when passing by him. "Have a good night."

Illumi didn't respond, chest heaving as he walked to his room, the red of Hisoka's hair very vivid on his head.


	2. Leaving

Killua was a nice baby. Illumi was fourteen when he was born, very young indeed, but the lifestyle of his family made him grow up faster, mature enough to be confused by an adult if his face was not shown.

The training usually started when they complete three years old, even tho small parts of it are incorporated into their day-to-day life by birth, like the poison endurance.

Until Killua was three, Illumi tried his best to be around him the most he could get. Since he was born, white hair and sparkly blue eyes, in such a contrast with Illumi's dark ones, Silva had decided he was going to be the new heir. The whole intensive training Illumi had going on was being ignored, because Killua looked a lot more with the Zoldycks than him or Milluki, who had more of their mom. Killua would probably be a stronger transmuter, just like his father and grandfather. Illumi was the only one in his generation, probably in the history of the family, to be trained as an heir without being the one.

All of sudden, Illumi being broke wasn't that much of a deal, now they had someone else to bear the title. Illumi became nothing. He liked it for a while, but every time he reminded himself about what Killua would have to go through, he felt sick.

That was why he often would sneak into Killua's room in the middle of the night, taking the small baby in his arms and bringing him back to his room. He would lay Killua on his chest in the worse days, the small weight being a comforting feeling until the morning when Kikyo would loudly shout around the house trying to find the baby.

It turned out later, when they started training Killua, that he was a very emotionally driven child. He was smart, lied with ease without even be taught about how to do so, and also was very athletic to start with. The main problem tho was that he would focus on the wrong parts, his capability of feeling pity and the hesitation that came with it.

Didn't make any sense for Illumi. Zeno told him it was because Illumi wasn't aware of human emotions. That night he killed a deer to see red and covered himself in the dirt.

As Killua was growing up he started to retract himself from his older brother. Something was off about him. Illumi tried to ignore it, he was used to people turning away from him, he didn't know why Killua mattered more. Maybe because he knew what his brother was going through, maybe because if he could only enter his head a little bit, he would able to fix everything that was off with Killua, maybe because Killua was everything he was supposed to be.

When Killua was turning six his father asked Illumi if he could put one of his needles on the younger's head. He said it wasn't a big deal, just a part of the training he needs to go through. Illumi did as his father said. He always did. Because he liked when his father made an effort to pretend that Illumi was a normal person.

For some months, maybe one or two years after that, Killua had adopted very submissive conduct, until he was stronger than some of those in the house. When the rebellious traits came back they were stronger. Illumi was expecting the day he would be completely out of their grasp. That made him anxious. Killua was supposed to be the backbone of the family, Illumi was worried about his generation as well as the next one.

That night, after the tragic dinner with his fiance, Illumi felt Killua leaving his room from the window and reaching his in a few seconds.

"Illu." the younger said, voice in a whisper.

"Why did you take such a long route, Killua? Walking the corridor was easier and faster."

"I didn't want to wake Kalluto," he was sitting in Illumi's window. "Do you want to escape? I can make a distraction."

"Escape from what?" His voice monotone, he felt drained after the long day, all he wanted was peace quiet.

"You know, from Hisoka and all the shit dad is putting you up to."

Illumi smiled because children were always so selfish. Is not their problem, tho, Illumi might had complied if it was years ago, but now, as an adult, he knew his responsibilities not disappearing ran away. Someone has always to pay the bill in some way.

"That is not your concern, Killua. I will be fine."

Killua sat in silence by the window, he was looking to his own feet dangling. "Will you come back?" His voice was a whisper.

"I do not understand what you mean by that."

"You know, will you visit us? Make some kind of contact?"

"Yes, Killua, I thought dad already said that because I am not quitting the family business, I will be just based in somewhere else."

"Alright, then. Have a good flight tomorrow." He was already leaving the room when he stopped, his hands on the window. "Illu, I will miss you."

—

When Illumi sat at the table to eat his breakfast at six in the morning like he usually did, Hisoka was already there, having a light talk with Zeno. The children usually woke up a little later, Silva and Kikyo a bit earlier so they could organize the assignments for their children before the day started.

"Good morning." Illumi saying sitting up.

"Good morning, darling, did you sleep well?" Hisoka's melodious voice asked, turning his attention towards Illumi, easily dismissing Zeno's presence.

Usually, he didn't have answers for his greeting, he just did to acknowledge people in the room, out of courtesy. "Yes." He answered a bit unsure. Hisoka smiled.

"I am glad to hear. Your guest room was very comfortable, but the silence is a bit unusual for me, you know," Illumi nodded. "My apartment is in a busy street, I hope you can get used to it, our room is in the back but still catches a lot of noise."

"Our?" Illumi head dropped a little to the side.

"Yes, dear, I was hoping you would move directly to my room since we are engaged, but if you are unhappy with it, you can stay in the guest room. I would be disappointed, tho." He took a sip of his mug.

"I do not care about sleeping arrangements." He said plainly, Hisoka giggled.

"You are very amusing." Zeno got up to leave, Hisoka followed him with his eyes. "I believe we are leaving in an hour if you wanna say your goodbyes."

"Is just my mother, Killua already did it last night, Milluki texted me and Kalluto left yesterday for a job."

Hisoka nodded without a question, they finished the breakfast in silence. Illumi told the butlers to put his bags in the blimp before he could retire.

A few minutes later they were by the blimp: Silva, Kikyo, and Zeno, alongside him and Hisoka. The woman was bitterly crying.

"Oh, Illumi, I can believe you are leaving." She whimpered, hands aggressively holding his arms.

"We will visit you soon, ma'am," Hisoka said, standing next to Illumi.

"Shut up, you devil."

"You should not offend him, mother."

"But he is taking you from me, my sweet baby." She tried to put one hand in his face, he flinched away.

"C'mon, Kikyo, let him go, it's already time," Silva said, voice as strong and impassive as ever. "Illumi, I will give you this first week off so you can adjust to your new place, alright?"

"Yes, father."

"Have a good flight," Zeno said.

—

They were about to hour in when Hisoka sat by his side. Illumi had a book open in his legs about spy technics, most he already knew, some were already underused, but it always a nice read.

"Hello," Hisoka said.

"Hi."

"Your dad told me you are a manipulator?"

"Yes." He took his time to grab one needle from his outfit. "I use needles." Illumi offered it to Hisoka so he could touch it.

"That's nice."

"I guess you are a transmuter. Your aura is pretty unique."

Hisoka smiled again. He was always smiling at Illumi, he decided it was pleasant.

"Yes, I am. Wanna see it?" Illumi nodded so Hisoka put a finger up, his aura was pink. When it touched his skin it was stick and elastic. "I call it bungee gum."

"Sticky."

"Yes." He looked at Illumi, his eyes very warm, straightened himself on the seat before he talked. "See, darling, I know you were not aware of this arrangement, so I am not forcing you into a marriage if you don't want to."

"You do not need to worry about it. I know my duties." Hisoka nodded. Of course, the first thing the eldest Zoldyck son would bring up is duty.

"I get it. But I feel the need to make you comfortable at my place. Our place."

"I would say I am not high maintenance, which is true most of the time. As we are about to live together, tho, I hope you will be understanding about my routines. Also, I have not been trained to house chores."

"That's fine, I can start working with that, don't worry. Anything else I need to know for now?"

"I will let you know if anything comes to mind." He took a breath. "Just be patient."

"Alright then, I'll be leaving you with your book to take a nap."

"Ok."

Illumi rested his head against the seat feeling a bit overwhelmed. Hisoka was gentle and welcoming but Illumi was not very open to changes, especially when they came so drastically and suddenly. His chest felt heavy. At least Hisoka seemed to found him amusing. That was good right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the wait, I took too long to finish this one but I hope things run more smoothly from now on.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading, you can always talk to me on twitter @forwwx


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